Back in 2012, the child version of me was in a constant duel with my friends at school about which console was better – Xbox, or Playstation. We were arguing about all kinds of stupid shit, but I held hard with “team Xbox”, even though things weren’t looking so bright. The Xbox One was on the horizon, and between a slew of embarrassing decisions from Microsofts side, it became difficult to keep up with it all. My team was losing.
I vividly remember standing in the corridor with my friends arguing about exclusives, and then and there I pointed at Ryse: Son of Rome and said; “Look! Doesn’t it look awesome!?”
I was foolish…
Now, in 2025 I played Ryse on a whim. I was browsing Gamepass, and wanted something easy. Something that didn’t require me to think. Something to act like comfort food. I played Ryse, and after about 6 hours I can safely and confidently claim that this game is a huge pile of shit.
The game is set in ancient Rome, you’re a soldier named Marius who’s risen in rank through your valiant efforts. The game has you play through moments of Marius triumphs as he retells his story to the emperor. It’s eight chapters, and each chapter is actually pretty diverse in terms of environments. It’s not a long game either, every chapter taking about 30-40 minutes to complete depending on your ability to press two buttons. The artistic aspects of Ryse were the only things that I actually thought were okay. The music, story and environments. They weren’t groundbreaking, but they were alright – even if the game is just a bootleg version of the Gladiator film.
Gameplay though? Hahahahahaha.. ha…
Every level – EVERY SINGLE LEVEL – is just a corridor. There’s absolutely nothing to interact with aside from specific moments were you’re allowed to use a ballista or fight in a formation. The formations consists of holding up and moving 5 meters forward, and the ballista is just an autoaim machine where you continue to spam the same button without actually aiming. Combat is literally just spamming X twice, then Y to stun in repetition and sometimes you get to press A to counter. But the window for countering is about 2 full seconds so you never actually worry about anything or engage with the enemy in a meaningful way. Low HP? Just kill some guys to get it back, your blade has lifesteal! 😀
You can roll, but you only need to do that when the enemies glow red. Again, it shows you exactly when and what to do, all the time. Whenever I fought a boss I just stood still, countered and then hit them two times. I did this every single time.
I’d also like to mention that I played on the highest difficulty possible.
I don’t mind if a game is easy. I’ve played a lot of easy games, but when there’s no interactivity in the levels or combat, and the game plays itself for you, I might as well just watch a movie. The story was lackluster, but maybe someone likes it. If you however enjoy the gameplay loop I recommend that you talk to a doctor…
On top of all this, the game is riddled with the most stupid, vile and degenerate microtransactions I’ve ever seen. You level up through combat, and the amount of XP you get is ridiculous. On top of this the upgrades are insanely boring and uninspired. So tell me, WHY CAN YOU BUY XP WITH REAL MONEY? You get the choice to either purchase an upgrade with the insane amount of XP you earn, or with real money. This is actually insane, and it just throws it in your face that this game was nothing more than a tech demo and cash grab attempt from Microsoft.
This is the game. An uninspired and bland mess. I can respect a game that’s super shitty, I can respect a game that’s super good – but I can’t respect a game that’s just.. soulless? 2/10…
At least Damocles was pretty cool.